I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this, but Elaine has been in a bit of a huff for the last couple of weeks. She’s barely speaking to me at the moment. But I daresay she’s been chuckling to herself, because trying to get about at night in the wilds of Vermont without her has proved quite challenging.
Or maybe she’s on curfew. If I go out in the evening, she seems happy to explain how to get to a restaurant. And I try to remember landmarks for the return trip. But, after dinner, everything goes very dark indeed, because streetlights are scarce here. Which means that Vermont is great for stargazing. But I’d like to get home first before I do the stargazing.
And lack of lighting is not so great for getting home because I can’t see the landmarks I remembered. So it should be Elaine to the rescue. But she just looks back at me in silence.
Encompassing
So I have to rely on the compass in the rear-view mirror. So at least I know whether I’m getting lost in a northerly, easterly, or southerly direction. (If I get lost in a westerly direction, I’ll be in Lake Champlain.)
I just mistyped that as Lake Champalin. Now that’s definitely a lake I wouldn’t want to fall into.
I’m faring even worse when it comes to using my phone
for its nominal purpose. I have hardly been anywhere in Vermont where I can get a signal, so calling and texting has essentially been reserved for Maine and New Hampshire. Maybe Vermont has declared independence, but no-one knows about it because they couldn’t get a signal. 1— this is how many comments there are on this paragraph. Click to read them.
Shedding
Internet access has been problematic too. At my current place, it’s great. But elsewhere I’ve needed to be poking my head out of an attic window, or lurking in the corner of a verandah. Otherwise I am likely to see the dreaded words: Connected. No internet.
Honestly, I’ve been tempted to pluck a few of Strudel’s whiskers to see if I can fashion them into a decent aerial.
Strudel has let me know that she isn’t keen on that idea. But I don’t really think she’s got a leg to stand on. (Well, alright, she has four legs to stand on.)
She’s been shedding the Great Moult of 2019, and it’s not a pretty look. Think shaggy camel and you’ll have more-or-less the right idea. There have been so many tufts coming out in one go that I’m wondering whether she’s done a deal with Gillette to produce shaving brushes. 1— this is how many comments there are on this paragraph. Click to read them.
I have tried negotiating with her to see if she’ll shed a few whiskers instead of some hair. But apparently it’s no dice. Not that dice would make a good aerial anyway.
Triffid
At least lack of technology means that there is no risk of being taken over by some force of artificial intelligence. Which is quite a relief really. I am still getting over the fridge I had to deal with for my first two weeks in Maine.
For a start, that thing was massive. And getting the door open was a real challenge. It felt like I was fighting with a triffid just to get some milk for my tea.
And then it would get a little too friendly and start walking towards me. Well, actually, it felt more like it was waltzing towards me. The harder I pulled the door, the faster we danced. 1— this is how many comments there are on this paragraph. Click to read them.
On the first couple of days, I did end up getting my milk. But I also ended up with the fridge in the middle of the kitchen. Then I had to really take the male lead and dance the thing back into its rightful position.
After that, I realized that the best technique was to sneak up and surprise it. If I got it looking the wrong way and had my wrist action right, I could yank the door open before it knew what had happened.
Unfortunately, though, this didn’t always play well with items stored in the door that needed to remain vertical. But at least I didn’t need to ask Elaine to know where they were supposed to go.
I've not heard of a waltzing frig! It must have been on rollers!
Reminds me of my golden retriever who shed once a year (for 365 days).
Verizon essentially has a monopoly in Vermont somehow. Though I know all of the various companies are supposed to share cell towers to allow service regardless of provider, that has not really happened in VT. When cell service first arrived, Verizon was the only provider we could get, and I still find that it is the only provider that can provide reliable coverage in most areas. There are places, however, that just don't have any . . . and they always seem to be the places I really need service. I used to have to go out to the end of our dock to get service when we had a place in the Northeast Kingdom. For internet access I had to drive 20 minutes to St. Johnsbury to the local library (or McDonalds on the days the library wasn't open) to get service. It made researching difficult, but I found I could get a lot of writing done without the distraction of email and news and sports and social media.